Just Out For Some Golf
A man in East Hampton decided that it was a good idea to walk out on the Village Green and hit a few golf balls. Police were alerted by a bystander about the golfer. No arrests were made. The man shot an 86.
North Fork
Owning a vineyard on the North Fork can be stressful, but a vineyard owner last week took things too far when he punched and slapped an employee several times. The victim made a citizen’s arrest and called police, who then arrested the owner and charged him with second-degree harassment.
Urinator
A man in Sag Harbor was arrested for public urination after he was observed by an officer, well, you know.
Shelter Island
Old Man McGumbus, 94, was arrested for the fourth time in one month after he was seen flagging down cars at the Shelter Island Ferry and using a fake badge that read “Shelter Island Border Security.” He was inspecting the vehicles to make sure that there were no hippies in them. One driver caught on to the fake badge and called police. When McGumbus was arrested, he was quoted saying, “This is outrageous! There’d be no country if it wasn’t for me!” Police released McGumbus on his own recognizance. His fake badge was confiscated as evidence.
CPR Saves Lives
A man in East Hampton who had a heart attack was rescued by East Hampton Village Police officers who performed CPR and portable defibrillation. The man, who has a wife and two kids, did not have a pulse when police arrived. He was revived by the officers and transported to the hospital, where he went into a coma and awoke two weeks later. Pretty amazing.
DWI
After weaving all over the road, a man in Hampton Bays was arrested for driving while intoxicated. When he blew into the Breathalyzer and was told that he was over the legal limit, the man said to the officer, “Am I just drunk or am I really, really drunk?”
Stay Classy Westhampton
A fight that broke out during the Westhampton Beach St. Patrick’s Day parade turned into a huge brawl that included nearly 100 people. Officers responded to a fight outside of a restaurant and as they attempted to break it up, another fight broke out. Police from Southampton, East Hampton, Riverhead and Quogue all responded in order to break it up and fired pepper spray onto the crowd.
