Week of September 16-22, 2011
Riders this week: 8,841
Rider miles this week: 17,411
DOWN IN THE TUBE
Paris Hilton was seen riding the subway last Thursday from Southampton to Water Mill. She said she’s here visiting her parents and sister. President Obama and Vice President Biden took the subway from Southampton to Westhampton last Friday after stopping here to survey the hurricane damage and then took Air Force One to points unknown. Sarah Palin of Hampton Bays was seen going down the escalator in that town to the platform, but then turned around and went back up saying she’d forgotten something.
COMPANY PICNIC AT BIG DUCK PARK
A bring-your-own picnic was held in Flanders at Big Duck Park last Saturday for all company employees of Hampton Subway to say goodbye to this year’s bevy of summer employees who worked as “pushers” on the platforms during rush hour to keep the passengers moving on and off the trains. About 100 people attended including spouses and children, (which was why it was bring your own—you can’t expect the company to feed everybody) and a good time was had by all. The “pushers” are a feisty bunch, mostly college age, and at one point, at the end of a softball game, but before horseshoe pitching, a fight broke out between a couple of them, but they soon calmed down.
DELAYS DUE TO NEW TRACKAGE
A 20-minute delay took place on the Southampton – East Hampton run on Wednesday morning when new experimental tracks was installed on a stretch between Southampton and Water Mill which supposedly would get rid of the screeching noise made by the wheels when trains make the sharp turn coming around Mill Pond. The tracks did get rid of the noise but riders quickly complained of the “budda budda budda” noise the trains made instead, along with some peculiar shaking for a few seconds and said they preferred the old noise so please bring it back and so the experimental tracks were swapped back out in the afternoon, resulting in another 20-minute delay. We apologize for all this.
WI-FI BACK UP BUT YOU MAY NEED HELP
The Wi-Fi system on the subway is back up but many people still can’t use it because they don’t know the new password. The old password, which was neanderthal, all lower case, was removed and the new password, all upper case—this is case sensitive—is TERADACTYL but please don’t tell anybody this because it is supposed to be a secret unless you are a rider on the subway.
PROPOSAL TO NAME SUBWAY CARS APPROVED
By a vote of 4 to 3, the Board of Directors of Hampton Subway have voted to have all the subway cars be named on their sides in small white letters. It’s felt that giving the subway cars names might help riders feel more soft and fuzzy about using the subway. It doesn’t change anything on the front of the subway. So the big letter A on the subway train still stands above the motorman’s window indicating that the train is the A train, which of course all trains are. There is only one line after all.
There are 39 subway cars in all, stored at the Montauk Yards every night behind barbed wire to keep them graffiti free. We invite employees and friends and readers of this newsletter to submit names. Just send them to email@example.com. So far, we’ve had two suggestions. One, for our oldest car, a 1934 Third Reich Mfg. Co. Saloon model from Germany, was submitted as “the old gray mare.” A new model made by Toronto Subway Mfg. Co., in Canada has received the suggestion of “Phantom Flyer.” You don’t need to know the manufacturers of the other cars to enter.
COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
I am proud of how we handled ourselves this summer through all the trials and tribulations from the tornado in the spring to the earthquake in July to the Hurricane two weeks ago. None slowed down the subway. My hat is off to our employees. Bravo.