I am still hoping for that “next” moment, that perfect connection between man and beast, of a woman, her horse and dog laughing in the middle of a forest. I had it once and I know now that I was blessed to have that memory. To laugh when no one was watching, to love as if there is no tomorrow, to live for the moment- isn’t that what life is all about? But the chance of lightning striking twice is doubtful. But at least I have that day, that afternoon, that perfect moment to escape back to when my pain becomes unbearable. I force my mind to go back to that day, where I was happy and healthy and surrounded by all that mattered. I block out the pain by thinking about Montauk covered in mud or the wind blowing through my hair as Finn was galloping as fast as he could go. Knowing this helps me bear the pain and the realization that my body is failing me.
If a woman laughs in the woods, is anyone listening? I would like to think that my dear Finn and my best buddy Montauk laughed with me…And then I smile.